Self-Care Rituals: If not now, when?
What is Self-Care: In health care, self-care is any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated. Some place self-care on a continuum with health-care providers at the opposite end. In modern medicine, preventive medicine aligns most closely with self care. Taking care of yourself is filling your cup before sharing with others.
The better you care for yourself the easier it is for you to care for others. You are also more likely to have fulfilling, interdependent relationships.
At DLW, our vision is to nourish human transformation and our collective growth in order to free us from suffering and change the way we see the world. This change starts with you!
Let’s dive a little deeper into the idea of self-care. In this definition the theme of relationship is present. The first relationship illustrated is the relationship with the self; the due diligence to initiate the care your body needs. Steps taken by YOU, on a consistent basis, to ensure your health starts and ends in your hands. The second relationship, is the relationship with the practitioner. Yes, relationship. So often we seek medical advice and believe we should be spoken TO rather than spoken WITH. We give all of our power away to the man/woman in the white coat; allowing for a holier than thou approach to our health. No wonder it is difficult to feel empowered by yourself!
Let me let you in on a little secret….Practitioners spend years in school to intrinsically learn the functioning of the human body and how to hopefully prevent and remove dis-ease. What they do not do is spend years studying the human psyche & spiritual consciousness; tapping into more than what meets the eye as well as a mindbody approach to dis-ease caused by psychosomatics (at least this is not the traditional western approach). Yes, there may be talk of these things but in short, they are not mind readers. Therefore, health-care should end where self-care has left off or when we need a more educated opinion of the communications of our bodies.
What if you do not know how to listen to the signals of your body?
First, know that it is okay to not understand them. We do not exactly live in society that teaches or supports the value of prevention and self-care (although we are seeing a shift in this direction). You probably learned more about history than you did about the functioning of your lymphatic system and ways to enhance your bodily systems. Let’s not even open the conversation of stress.
What if we are taught ways to get centered and clear when we are upset? What if we allow ourselves the space to heal instead of stuffing it down to be dealt with later?
It is important to recognize there may be areas of yourself that are forgotten space. There may be areas that have required more attention, leaving other areas feeling abandoned. When we center we recognize what is missing or needing attention.
These questions can only be posed if we truly recognize and submit to the idea that our mind, body and spirits are intrinsically connected. This my friends, is HOLISTIC…acknowledging that WHOLEness begins with YOU.
The natural progression, in cultivating habits of self-care, is to know the relationship between devotion and obligation. To some, these terms seem interchangeable. While there are similarities there are also differences. Obligation is defined as a duty or commitment of legal or moral binding. Devotion is defined as love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause. In terms of self-care, yes you have an obligation to yourself to care for yourself.
What are the ideas that motivate your obligation? Is it fear of falling or failing? Is it anger?
Here is where obligation and devotion may come to a fork in the road. If you are obligated by fear your devotion might lack the luster of love or enthusiasm – as defined by devotion.
Devotion carries an heir of freedom, I am free to devote myself to what I wish. Even devotion needs to be looked at with a conscious eye.
What are you devoting yourself to? Is it a contract that your mind/body/soul would agree to? Or are you devoting yourself to habits or relationships that allowed your soul to check out?
Mindfulness is key. Checking in is key. Compassion is key. Cyclic living is key.
Cultivating the space for self compassion begins with creating cycles you can work with. During our health coaching sessions, we create contracts with ourselves. Agreements made with ourselves by ourselves. This means being honest and clear to what and how we will be devoted. Not allowing ego to take the lead, turning your life upside down because ‘THINGS HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT NOW’. This is the approach of ego, forgetting that patience is a virtue and Rome was not built in a day. Furthermore, our health is a journey NOT a destination. There will always be variables out of our control. Our commitment is to be wholly devoted to our paths; returning when we detour.
Your next questions may be, ‘So how do I create these cycles for myself? I mean, where do I begin?’
I am so glad you asked because that is what I specialize in, observing and supporting your health through the lens of 8 dimensions. I guide you in creating space (literally) for you to wholly devote yourself to life. I offer a holistic approach to healing and full-spectrum support. Mind, Body and Spirit are supported by services, education, experiences and products.
The body works best in cycles and the closer you can match your cycles to the natural cycles of the universe, the easier it becomes to flow in your life. Some of the cycles I am referring to are; circadian rhythms, season changes, moon cycles, and natural progression of support and detoxification of the body. So many cycles! Don’t worry! I am here to help you better understand your natural and collective cycles.
Tangible Ways to Create Self-Care Rituals
Create a list of Self-Care Non-Negotiables.
I suggest creating a list when you have first had time to get into a mindful state. Write down any and everything that you need to feel happy, whole and free in your life. Examples may be; I feel best with 8 hours of sleep. I feel happiest when I have mornings to myself. The sky is the limit! Get clear and have this list available to come back to. Think of this as a love letter to yourself. An opportunity bring you fully into your life.
Start small.
If we want to hold space for our wholeness, we have to be realistic and honorable in our contract with ourselves. If we create wild, unreachable goals there will be a part (or all) of our soul that checks out. We do our best work when all of us is present. A good example would be not working out at all and expecting to run 5 miles your first week. This is not realistic and it is painful to your ego and spirit to try and fulfill an agreement that is not attainable. This is where compassion can be helpful. Break down this goal into smaller, attainable steps so that you feel supported along your journey.
Cultivate a meditation practice.
The benefits of meditation can be read about here. For the sake of self-care, meditation allows for greater clarity in all areas. Start small, 10 minutes a day of quiet time is a meditation practice. For additional support in creating your practice, sign up for a private meditation session .
Track progress & Consistent Action.
If we are not measuring our actions we do not have any way to measure success. As you slip more into a loving routine this will not be as necessary. However, as you cultivate new habits, seeing progress is a way of continuing forward. Think of this as an observation of progress to become your own cheerleader! Track progress by journaling, notes & reminders in your phone, or engage in a buddy system. Take consistent action. Daily action, no matter how small, commit to at least ONE self-care routine per day.
Ask for guidance.
So often we reach out to help others but fear asking for the return of favor. It is like we feel more comfortable with giving than receiving. To grow you have to know. To know you have to seek. Often this involves other. Going back to tracking progress, creating your Self-Care Support Team allows for progress to be held by all involved. It is like your personal round table. Invite them in.
Please take with you what resonates and leave the rest behind. Through your connections with DLW, I hope you see and feel the care and change we infuse in the world. It is an honor for us to do this work.
I would love to hear about your self-care rituals and how they are going. Please drop a comment and share what you are up to.
I am here to remind you how important you are and that you deserve the best of care!
